


Determination

by AmiLu



Series: 21 days writing challenge [3]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Crying, Gen, I blame the prompt, I promise, Introspection, M/M, Post Season 1, not a sad ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 22:02:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9259340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmiLu/pseuds/AmiLu
Summary: He might not be able to say exactly how many days—or weeks or months—in Earth time have passed since the blast and the separation of team Voltron, and he may not be able to say exactly how long were him and Hunk stranded on that planet until Allura rescued them, but he can say, without a hint of a doubt, that it has been far too long since they started looking for the last member of their little found family—who isstill missing.





	

**Author's Note:**

>   
> **DAY 3**  
>  Prompt  
> Hugging the pillow closer, I cried.

The door closes behind without so much as a sound, the lights reacting to his presence and brightening the room without any kind of command. He flinches back on instinct because he hadn't been expecting it, for some stupid reason, and because the sudden light clashes so horribly with his current mood that it makes him feel almost physically ill.

He stamps a hand over the panel to his right and sweeps it down rather harshly, but the room understands his command and the lights dimmer to almost nothingness.

The change brings about two things at the same time: Lance's muscles loosen and relax—the tense, almost aggressive posture disappearing to give room to hunched shoulders—, and the irritation that has been fueling him until then evaporates. They give way to emotions that he has been consciously pushing back for long, feelings that he hasn't wanted to face because he's not quite ready to do so, because even thinking about the reason behind them hurts so much that he is not sure that he won't break down completely if he starts analyzing it in more depth.

Since the moment they became stranded in space, time has been difficult to pinpoint. What is a day? What is a week? How do you know if months have passed already? Heck, even the passing of hours is difficult to track. Ticks and minutes are different, after all, and it had taken them all a long time to get accustomed to that.

The lack of day and night is still unsettling, even now.

Each planet has its own way to measure time, and some even have similar lightning than Earth, (the planet he had been stranded in with Hunk after The Wormhole Disaster was underwater and a little different, but still reminded him of home more than many other planets they had visited before), but in essence, time is a difficult concept to grasp in space.

Even then, it passes.

He might not be able to say exactly how many days—or weeks or months—in Earth time have passed since the blast and the separation of team Voltron, and he may not be able to say exactly how long were him and Hunk stranded on that planet until Allura rescued them, but he can say, without a hint of a doubt, that it has been far too long since they started looking for the last member of their little found family—who is _still missing._

Why haven't they found him yet? Why is it so difficult? Why aren't the other lions picking up Red's signals? Why aren't they able to connect with Keith's headset transmitter, for that matter? Why isn't Pidge and Hunk's newly modified alien tech working?

Where is Keith?

Why can't they find him?

(He is _not_ dead. He's not. Lance refuses to even consider the possibility.)

_(Keith can't be dead.)_

The Red Paladin is too good. Keith is too good. He can't be dead. There is no way.

Lance knows it well, he knows it _all_ too well. He knows because Keith is _his_ rival, he's both a goal and a symbol of what Lance has to surpass, he's a model of what Lance wants to achieve. Keith is the best pilot of their generation and, impulsiveness and recklessness aside, he's brilliant and strong and a good fighter—he _can't be dead._

He just can't.

(Sometimes, it is difficult to convince himself of that, especially when the others start looking more and more grim as time—damn time—continues to pass without a clue of Keith's whereabouts.)

“Stupid Keith,” he whispers, and it is supposed to be venomous and angry, but it mostly sounds broken and sad. He chokes out a laugh, wet and completely unamused, more self-deprecating than anything else.

Rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands, he sits on his bed and sighs. “I really hope you are alive, idiot.”

He lets himself fall on his back over the mattress without even bothering to take off his trainers. He is too tired to care. “I still haven't beaten you in training,” he huffs as he turns to one side and curls onto himself, bringing his legs close to his chest, hugging his pillow. “I still haven't made you laugh as hard as Hunk,” he mumbles, voice scratchier than before, vision blurring. There is a heavy weight on his chest, and it crawls all over him, tugging at his heart and making his eyes sting. When the tears come, he does nothing to stop them. “… I still—I still haven't told you—” he hiccups, “—I still haven't told you that _I like you.”_

His voice breaks completely in the last syllable, and he starts crying in earnest.

Lance's sobs are full bodied and heartfelt, they are loud and uncensored as he clutches the pillow to himself with so much force he won't be surprised if it breaks. He doesn't care.

He cries until he feels clean; until the tears won't come anymore. He lets them out of his system, lets them carry away his fears and insecurities and doubts, lets them wash away the toxic feeling of uselessness that has been haunting him for so long.

When he finally calms down, he feels completely drained.

Drained, yes, but determined.

Lance has always been like this. Once he lets his emotions out, once he lets himself deal with them, he can start focusing on what to do to change his situation, he can start working on their cause.

He won't give up. He won't let the rest of the team give up.

Keith is alive out there, somewhere, without a doubt.

And they are going to find him.

**Author's Note:**

> I completely blame the prompt for this. Crying Lance, I didn't write to write crying Lance, my poor baby.
> 
> (They find him. He’s fine - or he’s going to be. Lance will confess and they’ll start dating and be very gay and very happy together, I swear.)
> 
> You can come and yell at me on [tumblr](http://kurosakiami01.tumblr.com)!


End file.
